She closed the book, placed it on the table, and finally decided to walk through the door. She had read two chapters too many, two more than she had allowed herself when she started reading, and now she was pressed for time. Still she lingered, putting on her trench coat slowly, deliberately, and patting her coat pockets to make sure her keys and purse and cell phone were in them. Having run out of contrivances for delay, she turned the knob and pulled the door open. Framed by the door were a rectangular patch of the powder blue wall across from her apartment in the hallway, the unlit sconce light on the wall, a slice of her neighbor’s door. Ordinarily invisible from long familiarity, they were vivid today, alive – and they seemed to implore her to stay on her side of the threshold, where it was safe.
She closed her eyes and tried to soften them, to ease their quivering. She took a deep breath. And from the swirl in her mind a calm thought threw itself clear. It said: If you go through this door, your life will change. Not a warning; not an objection; a simple statement of fact.
She opened her eyes and contemplated the thought for a long, still moment. The wall, the sconce, the slice of door held their peace, waiting. So be it, her mind said quietly, and she stepped through.
***
She was four minutes late to the coffee shop, but he was even later, so she was able to catch her breath from having run three blocks from the train station while she waited in line to order. She got an herbal tea and took it to a table by the window. She was just settling into her chair when Jack walked in through the door, scanned the room, spotted her, and flashed a grin. She stood up to receive his kiss on her cheek, then sat back down as he pulled out his chair and sat down himself.
“I hope you weren’t waiting long,” he said. “Client kept me on the phone.”
“Not at all. Do you want to get a coffee first?” she said. She marveled that her voice did not crack.
He shook his head. “I’m amply caffeinated.” He smiled again. “I’m glad you called. I wanted to thank you again for taking a look at my McConnell presentation. I appreciated your comments.”
“Oh, sure. I was glad to do it.”
He leaned back and placed both hands on the table. “So. What’s up? You said you needed to talk to me about something.”
Her heart started thudding against her chest. Here it was.
“Jack, I’m…” A final fearful pause. Then, through the door: “Jack, I’m in love with you.”
His eyes, which had been looking at her with curiosity and anticipation, widened. His face changed.
(March 2012)
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