Rejoinder

She was slumped deep in the sofa cushions, still dazed, her insides jello still quivering from the shock. Still staring at her apartment door. She couldn’t take her eyes off the damned door. The door he had closed behind him softly but with finality when he left; that he had used for his cliché-ridden exit. Really, Bob? she said silently to the door. You really think that it was just that we had grown apart? That we just don’t want the same things anymore? That no one is to blame, really? Or if there was anyone at fault, that it wasn’t me, it was you? And you’re really sure now that someone else will come along who would be so much better for me? She couldn’t decide what pissed her off more: 1. that he had reached the conclusion she had still been working her way towards (for of course he was right that things had gone pffft between them long ago); 2. that he had snatched the role of oh-so-gracious dumper before she had a chance to (leaving her the dumpee); 3. that he had laid on her cliché after infuriating cliché; or 4. that she had been left speechless as each patronizing platitude fell upon her like a blow, locking up her brain, leaving her open-mouthed, unable to even squeak out a retort or response. Over and over, her thoughts kept bouncing between 1, 2, 3, and 4, like a ping-pong ball in a doubles match, faster and faster, until her mind was a white blur. Unable to contain her oscillating anger any further, she yelled to the empty room, “OH, YEAH? FINE BY ME! JUST MAKE SURE THE DOOR…” Wait, that wasn’t right. “I mean, umm… don’t let... DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT!” Hah! So there! Then, impelled by an urgent need to drive it home with one final exclamation point, she rose from the sofa, stomped to the door, opened it, and – BLAM! – slammed it shut on him so thunderously the pictures on the wall flinched on their hooks. She stood before the door, hands on her hips, still panting, nostrils still flaring. Okay. Silly. But it felt good anyway. Twenty minutes late, but still.

(February 2013)